Separating From Ed

     As I struggle and fight Ed, I have rediscovered how beneficial and enjoyable reading is for me. I have dove into multiple books on recovery, devotionals, readings on Jesus, memoirs, and others. In addition, I recently have listened to sermons on rest and have been intentional about how I spend my time with God. He is the only one that can save me from Ed and I am realizing that as I spend more time with Him, He has given me more peace and hope about taking Ed down.      Right before I went into residential treatment, I thought, "I haven't really asked God what He is calling me to." I quieted myself, and prayed that prayer. I heard God say that He was not calling me to an eating disorder, that I was not healthy, and that He was calling me to "peace." I asked Him next, kind of  jokingly, if I could have both an eating disorder and peace, to which He replied, "No." This is ultimately what I have been working on since treatment and has been my goal.

Just because I am okay, I am not well. I am sick. I am struggling. I have a problem. Just because I am working out, I am not perfect. I am not healthy. I am not trying to push my lifestyle on you. I am disordered. Just because I am eating healthy, I am not the best. I am not capable of thinking about other things. I am not functioning properly. My body is burning. Just because I am in recovery, I am not healed yet. I am not able to hear certain comments. I am having to keep and set boundaries from being broken down. I am doing what I need to survive. I started this blog as a mem oir to shar e some of my life stories with you. My goal is that these encourage and educate you on how to live a more joyful, healthier, full life; one of hope. I write about my fascination with whole foods, my love of Jesus, my struggles, my childhood stories, my passion for education, and my devotion to creating a healthy life (body, mind, and spirit) for every perso