Separating From Ed

     The following is an adaptation of an assignment that I wrote during my time in residential. In the category of Relationship to Self, I was instructed to compose a letter to a friend who was struggling with an eating disorder. Hi friend,      I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling. Eating Disorders can wreak havoc on your life. They are nasty diseases; I know first-hand. I wish you weren't facing this right now, and I know that it is hard to go through this, as well as difficult to accept help, begin recovery, and manage life post treatment, whatever level that may be at.      There are always going to be set-backs, bumps in the road, hiccups, unforeseen slips, and lapses. No matter how hard we try and how much we want recovery, the reality is that the enemy has a hold on us while we are deep in our disorder. His goal is destruction, deception, and yes, even death. He wants to separate us from the Father and tries to convince us that he or we know better than God,

     While my struggle to fight Ed continues on, I have to think about how far I have come, how proud I am of myself, how thankful I am for my recovery and those who have helped me, and about my journey in general.      What's interesting to me is how all of the aspects of our lives play together. The anxiety I had growing up, the college major that I chose, the jobs I worked, the mottos that influenced me, the activities I did, the friends I did or didn't have, everything came together to make me into who I am, what I have done, and the battles that I have faced. My obsessions over health, my family history, and many other things all play into my eating disorder, but many things also play into my recovery; my faith, my friends, the work that I chose to do to get better, my husband, therapists, dietitians, counselors, doctors, and so much more have helped me along the way.      This journey, in all that it has been so far and will continue to be, has been wild to say the leas

     Through my AMA, conversations with my therapists, friends from treatment, and with someone I know who is struggling currently, I have come to realize even more so how absolutely ridiculous it is to categorize eating disorders around weight. For me, all along, it as never about my weight, it was about my health and attempting to prevent diseases in the future. While I know this for myself, it is far too common that people continue to associate eating disorders solely, or mostly, based off of how much someone weighs.      One of the lies that I had to get over telling myself, as well as many other people who are afflicted by eating disorders is that eating disorders have a size, number, limit, etc... You can be perfectly "healthy" and still battle a myriad of eating disordered thoughts. Eating disorders are a mental illness  and should be categorized and based on thought patterns and behaviors. No person should go through any course of treatment (outpatient, IOP, PHP, res