Separating From Ed

Thinness ≠ Fitness Most people don't know this. I hid it well, I was ashamed. I was truly scared, I didn't know how to do what I knew that I had to do. I tried to reach out for help and sometimes got told to "relax," "keep things in perspective," that I didn't have to worry, and that it seemed like everything was going great or well. I have lived with an eating disorder for the past four years. I would never wish this on anyone. Recovery is hard work, but I am up for the challenge. I thought I could get the help I needed from myself and an outpatient team, but that just wasn't the case. If I had stayed on this track, I would have ended up continuing my eating disorder for who knows how long, possibly indefinitely. Eating disorders are nasty, and no, I didn't choose to have an eating disorder, just like no person chooses to have cancer, a body part that doesn't function, or a stroke. Eating disorders are an illness and should be treated

*This post contains strong language that is atypical to my blog.      Sara, Megan, Hayley, Rylee, Alix, Brayenna, Sabrina, Kourtney, Sara, Vanessa, Danielle, Autumn, Jazmin, Karina, Dalton, Brandon, Jacob, Cole, Trevor, Rachel, Cole, Sherri, Kaity, Devon, Zach, Jessica, Courtney, Alyssa, Bailey, and all of the others that enabled you, encouraged you, or didn't stop you, FUCK YOU.      You had a negative impact on my life. You screwed with me, messed with me, harmed me, bullied me, were rude, mean, and unkind. What did I ever do to you besides being nice? I don't understand why you bullied me. You had no good  reason to. Maybe you were jealous, or maybe that's what you experienced at home, or maybe you were so consumed with yourself and how to make yourself seem better that you picked on the vulnerable, the ugly, the nice, and easy targets. Perhaps you were just purely mean, and I believe that some of you still are to this day.