Dear Friend
The following is an adaptation of an assignment that I wrote during my time in residential. In the category of Relationship to Self, I was instructed to compose a letter to a friend who was struggling with an eating disorder.
Hi friend,
Hi friend,
I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling. Eating Disorders can wreak havoc on your life. They are nasty diseases; I know first-hand. I wish you weren't facing this right now, and I know that it is hard to go through this, as well as difficult to accept help, begin recovery, and manage life post treatment, whatever level that may be at.
There are always going to be set-backs, bumps in the road, hiccups, unforeseen slips, and lapses. No matter how hard we try and how much we want recovery, the reality is that the enemy has a hold on us while we are deep in our disorder. His goal is destruction, deception, and yes, even death. He wants to separate us from the Father and tries to convince us that he or we know better than God, but if we remember back to the Garden of Eden, he is merely a crafty liar. Satan is the accuser, he steals our joy, robs us of peace, and makes us uncomfortable in our own bodies and minds. Ed dominates our thoughts, confuses us, and makes us feel out of control. Your ED wants to win.
Your behaviors WILL be irrational. You will believe Ed and the lies he proposes. However, you have to remember that what he says is exactly that, a lie. He shouldn't be taken seriously and his statements are irrational when you break them down, but I know that this is difficult without help, which is why getting adequate treatment is so important. Ed will take things that are true and twist them in your mind; having another person to bounce these thoughts off of makes a world of difference when considering alternative perspectives. Many of the rules that we are so intense about in our own lives are truly meant as guidelines for the average population and not meant to be taken to extremes.
There are always going to be set-backs, bumps in the road, hiccups, unforeseen slips, and lapses. No matter how hard we try and how much we want recovery, the reality is that the enemy has a hold on us while we are deep in our disorder. His goal is destruction, deception, and yes, even death. He wants to separate us from the Father and tries to convince us that he or we know better than God, but if we remember back to the Garden of Eden, he is merely a crafty liar. Satan is the accuser, he steals our joy, robs us of peace, and makes us uncomfortable in our own bodies and minds. Ed dominates our thoughts, confuses us, and makes us feel out of control. Your ED wants to win.
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If there is one thing I could encourage you with, it would be to accept help from others and to reach out to your support team when you need help. Learning tools and strategies to combat Ed can be extremely beneficial in your recovery journey. Whether your goals be naming emotions, reaching out, honoring your hunger or cravings, or something completely different will be up to you, your treatment team, and God, but whatever the goals are, I hope that you put in the effort to see if they can work for you and aid you in your recovery.
Another difficult point will be sticking with your recovery, meal plan, therapy, and appointments when you don't want to, but this is really important until you are able to be more independent. A lot of times, people feel like asking for help shows weakness, but I know first hand that I couldn't recover on my own and needed the help. Since I did step out of my comfort zone, listened to God, my husband, and my treatment team, the help that I received was instrumental and life-changing.
Your eating disorder WILL put up a fight. You will have hard days and low points. You will struggle and feel as though things aren't going the right direction. This is all typical of recovery, but please also remember that your recovery is your recovery. What works for one person or a group of people might not work for you, and that is OKAY. I know that it can be frustrating to find when certain things don't work for you, but do for other people. We have to realize that we are unique individuals, created specifically. Don't be afraid to take their word, look it up, try it for yourself, and then make a decision if it something that you would like to continue or not. Please also don't discount aspects of recovery (such as a strategy, therapy, or medication) without fully experiencing what it can offer you. If things don't work the first time, give it about two more tries before dismissing it-- I know that I had to do this with my medication and some coping skills. It takes time and practice, recovery is not linear and has many steps to getting well, be patient.
As far as exercise goes, I absolutely know that the desire to workout is so intensely strong. You feel a need. The obsessions with food and the compulsion to exercise are incredibly hard to ignore. Remember what God has said is best for you. One day, you will be well enough to exercise again, and you can look forward to that with a hope of recovering.
Another difficult point will be sticking with your recovery, meal plan, therapy, and appointments when you don't want to, but this is really important until you are able to be more independent. A lot of times, people feel like asking for help shows weakness, but I know first hand that I couldn't recover on my own and needed the help. Since I did step out of my comfort zone, listened to God, my husband, and my treatment team, the help that I received was instrumental and life-changing.
Your eating disorder WILL put up a fight. You will have hard days and low points. You will struggle and feel as though things aren't going the right direction. This is all typical of recovery, but please also remember that your recovery is your recovery. What works for one person or a group of people might not work for you, and that is OKAY. I know that it can be frustrating to find when certain things don't work for you, but do for other people. We have to realize that we are unique individuals, created specifically. Don't be afraid to take their word, look it up, try it for yourself, and then make a decision if it something that you would like to continue or not. Please also don't discount aspects of recovery (such as a strategy, therapy, or medication) without fully experiencing what it can offer you. If things don't work the first time, give it about two more tries before dismissing it-- I know that I had to do this with my medication and some coping skills. It takes time and practice, recovery is not linear and has many steps to getting well, be patient.
As far as exercise goes, I absolutely know that the desire to workout is so intensely strong. You feel a need. The obsessions with food and the compulsion to exercise are incredibly hard to ignore. Remember what God has said is best for you. One day, you will be well enough to exercise again, and you can look forward to that with a hope of recovering.
I wish you the best of luck. You will have to work hard, but I know that you can do this, get through it, and make it to the other side. You've got this! You are worth recovering.
Peace and much love to you always,
Al
I started this blog as a memoir to share some of my life stories with you. My goal is that these encourage and educate you on how to live a more joyful, healthier, full life; one of hope.
I write about my fascination with whole foods, my love of Jesus, my struggles, my childhood stories, my passion for education, and my devotion to creating a healthy life (body, mind, and spirit) for every person in the world.
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