Redeemed and Restored: Hearing the Lord
As I struggle and fight Ed, I have rediscovered how beneficial and enjoyable reading is for me. I have dove into multiple books on recovery, devotionals, readings on Jesus, memoirs, and others. In addition, I recently have listened to sermons on rest and have been intentional about how I spend my time with God. He is the only one that can save me from Ed and I am realizing that as I spend more time with Him, He has given me more peace and hope about taking Ed down.
Right before I went into residential treatment, I thought, "I haven't really asked God what He is calling me to." I quieted myself, and prayed that prayer. I heard God say that He was not calling me to an eating disorder, that I was not healthy, and that He was calling me to "peace." I asked Him next, kind of jokingly, if I could have both an eating disorder and peace, to which He replied, "No." This is ultimately what I have been working on since treatment and has been my goal. I believe this conversation with God was truly beneficial to me being ready and willing to accept the changes that treatment brought.
Treatment was a challenge. It wasn't easy, but God never said this life would be easy. There were many aspects to overcome, not solely regarding food. He said, "'I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.'" John 16:33
With Jesus, I can get through anything. On my first night in treatment, I went looking through Psalms 50 through 60 to try to find a passage that had stuck out to me right before leaving for residential. Then, a few days into my stay, one of the therapists, Chelsie, asked me to stay after one of our groups. She told me that she was the one who went through my books when I arrived at treatment. She said she noticed that a lot of my books were on Christianity, and that if I ever wanted to have discuss things with her on a spiritual/relational level, that I could. This was super awesome. Having Chelsie step out in faith to share with me meant a lot. In fact, it opened many doors to discussing my faith with the other clients and staff and was beneficial in my recovery. Chelsie also gave me a verse to keep with me at the dining room table and some sermons to listen to.
Throughout my time at treatment, as well as both before and after, I have asked God, sometimes daily, what He is calling me to, either for that day, or life in general. Some days, the answer is once again, peace. Sometimes, it differs, but I know and feel confident that when God calls me to do something, He will provide the resources that I succeed and get through to the other side.
One habit that I learnt in treatment that I am trying my best to keep up while being at home is to set a daily intention. This isn't something that I "have" to do, nor is it something that I should punish myself for if it doesn't happen. It is merely an idea of something that I would like to get done or do, but, hey, if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen, and there isn't judgement around that. Frequently, my intention, whether inspired by myself or by God, has been to have peace, and not surprisingly, God has granted me so much peace.
God promises to remember us, and He keeps His promises. He is a good God, and He listens to us, even if we don't hear an audible answer. He is faithful to redeem and restore us. Since I can trust a God who is bigger than anything, including my Ed voice, I know that I can pull through and make it to the other side of this disorder, and you can, too.
Treatment was a challenge. It wasn't easy, but God never said this life would be easy. There were many aspects to overcome, not solely regarding food. He said, "'I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.'" John 16:33
With Jesus, I can get through anything. On my first night in treatment, I went looking through Psalms 50 through 60 to try to find a passage that had stuck out to me right before leaving for residential. Then, a few days into my stay, one of the therapists, Chelsie, asked me to stay after one of our groups. She told me that she was the one who went through my books when I arrived at treatment. She said she noticed that a lot of my books were on Christianity, and that if I ever wanted to have discuss things with her on a spiritual/relational level, that I could. This was super awesome. Having Chelsie step out in faith to share with me meant a lot. In fact, it opened many doors to discussing my faith with the other clients and staff and was beneficial in my recovery. Chelsie also gave me a verse to keep with me at the dining room table and some sermons to listen to.
Throughout my time at treatment, as well as both before and after, I have asked God, sometimes daily, what He is calling me to, either for that day, or life in general. Some days, the answer is once again, peace. Sometimes, it differs, but I know and feel confident that when God calls me to do something, He will provide the resources that I succeed and get through to the other side.
One habit that I learnt in treatment that I am trying my best to keep up while being at home is to set a daily intention. This isn't something that I "have" to do, nor is it something that I should punish myself for if it doesn't happen. It is merely an idea of something that I would like to get done or do, but, hey, if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen, and there isn't judgement around that. Frequently, my intention, whether inspired by myself or by God, has been to have peace, and not surprisingly, God has granted me so much peace.
God promises to remember us, and He keeps His promises. He is a good God, and He listens to us, even if we don't hear an audible answer. He is faithful to redeem and restore us. Since I can trust a God who is bigger than anything, including my Ed voice, I know that I can pull through and make it to the other side of this disorder, and you can, too.
I started this blog as a memoir to share some of my life stories with you. My goal is that these encourage and educate you on how to live a more joyful, healthier, full life; one of hope.
I write about my fascination with whole foods, my love of Jesus, my struggles, my childhood stories, my passion for education, and my devotion to creating a healthy life (body, mind, and spirit) for every person in the world.
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