Freedom
"It's 7 AM and I wake up to a warm house. It is comforting. I know that my husband is right next to me. I smile. We rub each others' backs. Our toddler comes into the room for snuggles. My life is full of joy and love. Most importantly, my life is full of peace because I am free from the eating disorder that trapped me in my early 20s. It robbed me of the peace that God was calling me to. I knew I had a problem, but I also knew I could break out of it. I rely on support when I need it, but most of the time I don't. I am strong and believe truly that my eating disorder is far behind me. Sometimes I have slip ups, but I know that I quickly move forward from them. I feel my feelings. I am generally healthy. I'm not so sick all of the time. I'm tired because of my toddler, not because of my eating disorder."
I wrote this during my time in residential treatment as part of an assignment that my therapist gave me. I was instructed to write a two stories, my life at age 30 with an eating disorder and my life at age 30 without an eating disorder. This version, the one without an eating disorder, has been one of the assignments that has given me the most hope.
You see, the version in which I am 30 years old and still have an eating disorder feels like every single day that I lived for nearly four years prior to going to treatment. This version sucks. This version kills joy, happiness, peace, and hope. It strongly indicates not getting better. It involves a trapped life. It details how I am not engaged with my family, how I continually ruminate on food and health thoughts, yet, I am not healthy. I have difficulties concentrating, focusing, and remaining present. These obsessive thoughts consume my whole life. The rules that I made up in my own mind dominate and control my every action.
But, at just the right time, when I was still powerless to do any actions of recovery on my own, Christ set me free. God allowed everything to happen in His perfect timing. The opportunity of going to residential treatment, of experiencing healing, and meeting phenomenal people who influenced my recovery were all a part of His master plan to freedom.
The original Greek for the terms used in Galatians 5:1 denote liberty (being free) from the oppressing bonds of human errors that come and distract from the wholeness and beauty of Christ. The "yoke" of slavery refers to a burden being placed on someone or something.
What is fascinating to me, aside from the power that God has in setting us free, is that the early church struggled with this, too. Not only were people consumed with thoughts that drug them away from Christ and his fullness, but they were slaves to the self-imposed laws that they had created. The liberty that is discussed in Galatians 5 is not just a liberty from bonds, yokes, slavery, rules, and inadequacies, it is liberty that does not, and can not, affect our salvation.
Thanks be to God for His multitude of indescribable gifts; including the ability to have freedom!
Photo background is my own, image created through YouVersion.
I started this blog as a memoir to share some of my life stories with you. My goal is that these encourage and educate you on how to live a more joyful, healthier, full life; one of hope.
I write about my fascination with whole foods, my love of Jesus, my struggles, my childhood stories, my passion for education, and my devotion to creating a healthy life (body, mind, and spirit) for every person in the world.
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