I AM

  Some of the kids I work with wrote these AVID (Advancement Via Individual Determination) poems recently about what they will do as a freshman in college. I decided to write my own. It's important to note that I am not in this space at this time, although.

I AM a freshman at Western Oregon University

My mother would describe me as a good child, pretty, and a great sister.

My friends would describe me as not their friend.

I keep the photos of my family on the corkboard in my dorm room and the material I learned in high school focused in my mind.

I remember how to take notes and the basics of biology.

I've learned that most of my classes are a waste of my money and that "dorms" should be called "residence halls."

I hide that I am breaking inside.

I read parts of my textbooks and "Winning Everyday."

I shout, “hi!” when I see someone I know and like across campus.

I AM a freshman at Western Oregon University.

I see my beautiful campus, covered in rain.

I hear people in the WUC making drinks at Cafe Allegro.

I taste the food from the dining hall that is good, but never as great as the first time I tried it at the Preview Day.

I feel confused by some of my classes and upset by the weather.

I think about how glad I am that I am finally making friends for once, how I will do in college as I get older, and how I wish I wasn't  depressed.

I whisper quiet prayers asking God to take these negative feelings away.

I AM a depressed and learning freshman at Western Oregon University.

I want to end it all sometimes, but I also want to live to see my potential, get married, have babies. and to play softball in the spring.

I will choose to not hurt myself, to not die, and to get help eventually.

I won't let my circumstances determine my attitude or identify me.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, I can do this much work, and I can be who I was made to me.

I pretend that Tyler will be my boyfriend.

I sing church songs to remind me of hope.

I AM a trying freshman at Western Oregon University.

I dream funny and wild things most nights and sometimes scream things in my sleep which wake my roommate.

I'm afraid I won't ever feel relief or get better.

I reach my goals consistently. I am proud of myself.

I say I'm sorry when I can't comprehend the material.

I love being at Western.

I declare for the world to hear that I am Allie, I am trying, and I am making it successfully because

I AM a freshman at Western Oregon University who, because of my resources, is striving and thriving.

I started this blog as a memoir to share some of my life stories with you. My goal is that these encourage and educate you on how to live a more joyful, healthier, full life; one of hope.

I write about my fascination with whole foods, my love of Jesus, my struggles, my childhood stories, my passion for education, and my devotion to creating a healthy life (body, mind, and spirit) for every person in the world.