What Not to Say to Someone with an Eating Disorder

     Many people attempt to be helpful by giving encouragement to those in recovery or those with an eating disorder. Unfortunately, a lot of the time, the well meaning person has no idea what the sufferer is sensitive to, and ultimately, may cause more damage than good. Here are some things that I wish people would stop saying to me:

• You look so good!
• You are doing so well
• You haven't ate much
• You've ate a lot
• You're still hungry?
• Haven't you had enough?
• That is really healthy
• That is really unhealthy
• Don't you think... [insert comment about nutrients (or lack thereof) in food]
• What do you think of [diet]?
• Doesn't so and so look great after they lost weight?
• So and so should lose weight
• I can't believe they lost weight
• Have you lost weight?
• Are you trying to lose weight?
• Are you sick?
• How much do you weigh?
• I lost/gained _ pounds!
• I weigh ___ pounds
• My BMI is __
• I ate [insert fear food]
• So and so looks so big
• You don't even exercise that much
• You don't look like you could have an eating disorder
• You look sick
• You are withering away
• You look [insert eating disorder comment]

     and about a hundred others. I will say, if they person is in a healthy mental state, the "are you trying to lose weight" question could be a good phrase to get the individual clued into taking care of themself and recognizing a problem, but I will reiterate that they must be in a solid mental place and this would probably be best before an eating disorder fulls emerges.

     Here are some helpful phrases:

• I am concerned about you
• Are you healthy?
• Are you getting the resources you need?
• How can I help?

     There are plenty of others here as well. My priority with this list is to show people who support those with eating disorders an example of what is helpful and what is harmful, but ultimately, it depends on the individual you are speaking to. Showing up and sitting with that person in silence could be more influential and powerful than saying the wrong thing, which could lead the sufferer down a more tumultuous slope. However, expressing your concern in a gentle manner will let them know that you see them, are worried about their well-being, and want them to get help.

     When in doubt, just simply state that you care about the person and want them to be the most capable, healthy version of themselves. Having other resources and people on hand to help will be beneficial, too.

     Happy recovering.

I started this blog as a memoir to share some of my life stories with you. My goal is that these encourage and educate you on how to live a more joyful, healthier, full life; one of hope.

I write about my fascination with whole foods, my love of Jesus, my struggles, my childhood stories, my passion for education, and my devotion to creating a healthy life (body, mind, and spirit) for every person in the world.