Treating Myself How I Would Treat Others
I absolutely can not fight Ed on my own and win. It would be foolish to think that I could, when in reality, I would fall flat on my face and honestly, I may not be here. I have come to realize that if I examine and reframe my/Ed's thoughts to be ones of how I would treat someone else or how Jesus would treat me, I have a more gentle approach towards myself.
I am also trying to reframe my ideas around specific food items. As someone who LOVES to give advice when it is warranted and requested, I have begun to try to reframe my thoughts and ideas about food. I have started to ask myself if the lies that Ed tells me about a certain food (______ will make you _____, ________ is a treat and you don't ______ it, or the like) are the truth and if I would in good conscience share that advice with someone else. As someone who cares (maybe too much) about people in general and as a Christian with a strong moral compass, I would never intentionally lie to someone, especially regarding their health because health is something that I highly value. An example that I could use would be, "Would I tell my friend/family member/coworker that ______ is unhealthy, not allowed, or that they shouldn't eat it?" If the answer is "no," then I have now made myself aware that ED IS LYING! Surprise, surprise.
Ed is the ultimate deciever and liar.
My psychologist has told me multiple times that he is these things and is the voice of the accuser. His goal is to make me feel bad and that I am in the wrong. I read today on a blog called Dad's And Daughters With Eating Disorders something that struck me. The author compiled a list of 10 reasons why he hates ED. Number 8 is my favorite: "You're evil" it reads. "I'm not saying you're Satan, but perhaps you are. If so, I wouldn't be surprised." He went on to explain what ED has done to his daughter and how ED has changed her from a wonderful, loving, and precious person, into one who lies, is easily manipulated, and on the brink of losing her health, among many other things. He said, "I think only evil in its purest form could have done that to my sweet daughter. I know it wasn't her. But she's coming back. She's recovering. So watch out."
I love this. I believe this fully captures the reason why having a support team, not doing it on our own, and treating ourselves how we should be treated, not how Ed spreads his evilness into our lives is so vitally important. It is both beautiful and wonderful how this father rests assured and secured that his daughter WILL get better. He is certain of her recovery and return to health. It is a great reminder of how our Heavenly Father hears and sees us. He is not a God far off or distant, but rather, He is close by. loving, caring, and providing every second of every day. He is listening to us, just as He said in Exodus 6: "Moreover, I have heard the groaning of the Israelites, whom the Egyptians are enslaving, and I have remembered my covenant." I recently started to replace some phrases for ones that are more applicable to me, so this could be transformed into: "I hear Allie's suffering from Ed enslaving her, and I have remembered my promises." God has promised me that He WILL pull me through this eating disorder; that I will make it to the other side. He has also promised that He will be with me every step of the way and that He will never leave me nor forsake me.
What a good God we have and how fortunate we are to have Him.
I am also trying to reframe my ideas around specific food items. As someone who LOVES to give advice when it is warranted and requested, I have begun to try to reframe my thoughts and ideas about food. I have started to ask myself if the lies that Ed tells me about a certain food (______ will make you _____, ________ is a treat and you don't ______ it, or the like) are the truth and if I would in good conscience share that advice with someone else. As someone who cares (maybe too much) about people in general and as a Christian with a strong moral compass, I would never intentionally lie to someone, especially regarding their health because health is something that I highly value. An example that I could use would be, "Would I tell my friend/family member/coworker that ______ is unhealthy, not allowed, or that they shouldn't eat it?" If the answer is "no," then I have now made myself aware that ED IS LYING! Surprise, surprise.Ed is the ultimate deciever and liar.
My psychologist has told me multiple times that he is these things and is the voice of the accuser. His goal is to make me feel bad and that I am in the wrong. I read today on a blog called Dad's And Daughters With Eating Disorders something that struck me. The author compiled a list of 10 reasons why he hates ED. Number 8 is my favorite: "You're evil" it reads. "I'm not saying you're Satan, but perhaps you are. If so, I wouldn't be surprised." He went on to explain what ED has done to his daughter and how ED has changed her from a wonderful, loving, and precious person, into one who lies, is easily manipulated, and on the brink of losing her health, among many other things. He said, "I think only evil in its purest form could have done that to my sweet daughter. I know it wasn't her. But she's coming back. She's recovering. So watch out."
I love this. I believe this fully captures the reason why having a support team, not doing it on our own, and treating ourselves how we should be treated, not how Ed spreads his evilness into our lives is so vitally important. It is both beautiful and wonderful how this father rests assured and secured that his daughter WILL get better. He is certain of her recovery and return to health. It is a great reminder of how our Heavenly Father hears and sees us. He is not a God far off or distant, but rather, He is close by. loving, caring, and providing every second of every day. He is listening to us, just as He said in Exodus 6: "Moreover, I have heard the groaning of the Israelites, whom the Egyptians are enslaving, and I have remembered my covenant." I recently started to replace some phrases for ones that are more applicable to me, so this could be transformed into: "I hear Allie's suffering from Ed enslaving her, and I have remembered my promises." God has promised me that He WILL pull me through this eating disorder; that I will make it to the other side. He has also promised that He will be with me every step of the way and that He will never leave me nor forsake me.
What a good God we have and how fortunate we are to have Him.
I started this blog as a memoir to share some of my life stories with you. My goal is that these encourage and educate you on how to live a more joyful, healthier, full life; one of hope.
I write about my fascination with whole foods, my love of Jesus, my struggles, my childhood stories, my passion for education, and my devotion to creating a healthy life (body, mind, and spirit) for every person in the world.
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