What Day 2 eating from a meal plan feels like

 Ugh. I have ate almost completely from my new, non-exchange, meal plan yesterday and today. I have actually "overate" both days. I feel so confused. Am I doing the right thing? Am I not? Am I overeating? Am I heading in the right direction? How will this impact my health?

I am anxious. I think I am mostly anxious about grad school things right now, but the overeating is definitely nagging at me. I feel frustrated, upset, confused, irritated. It's been a night.

My doctor today told me I could do some self testing, but my pharmacy is out of the equipment I need. It is frustrating! 

Naming my feelings almost always helps. I did that. I sat with my feelings; I still am. I am being nonjudgmental towards them and recognizing that this will pass, but I am not actively trying to get rid of the feelings. 

I felt so good earlier today. I saw my doctor, I did the meal plan, I ate a variety and play foods, I have asked for help, I have advocated for myself, yet, the school textbooks plus the eating plus not getting the equipment is throwing me for a loop. I feel it shouldn't be this difficult, but I am feeling that way. It is frustrating, hard, and taxing. I am reminded that while I am experiencing these feelings, that does not necessarily mean that they are true and asking myself, In the long term, does this matter? The answer is no, in five years, ten years, or even a few weeks from now, it won't matter. I will feel better, I will feel more confident. I will have the equipment and textbooks I need and the meal plan won't feel as foreign if I stick with it. Things won't feel so out of my control, but I will also recognize that there are many things in life that I can't control, and that is okay. That is how life is. 

Going about my life in a stressed out manner is not something that I want to do, yet sometimes it feels as the only way to survive or make it. The reminder that what God has done, He can do again and that if He has said something, He will accomplish are paramount. Recalling that God has called me to peace and will bring me to it brings about hope. He wants good things for me. My faith in a God that has always been, is, and forever will be loving, kind, compassionate, caring, and full of grace is enough to help me sigh and pause to reflect that He's got this. 

I started this blog as a memoir to share some of my life stories with you. My goal is that these encourage and educate you on how to live a more joyful, healthier, full life; one of hope.

I write about my fascination with whole foods, my love of Jesus, my struggles, my childhood stories, my passion for education, and my devotion to creating a healthy life (body, mind, and spirit) for every person in the world.